Exploring Women’s Terrible Online Conversation Skills: Understanding the Why

Women’s online conversation skills are terrible, and they have only got worse in the dating app years. I think some women will evolve into being unable to speak in the year 2090. We believe the virtual landscape teems with potential partners, making it easy for women to feel overwhelmed. This plethora of options often results in diminished investment in individual conversations. It’s like sitting in a café filled with chatter and struggling to focus on just one voice. Also, when presented with lots of options, many people can’t choose. 

Some factors influencing this issue may include having many options available, prioritising energy-matching connections, or simply feeling exhausted from managing multiple interactions. Additionally, individuals have varying communication styles and priorities.  But let’s be clear, most women cannot be bothered and are LAZY. Yes I said it LAZY, they expect men to do the running in the chat, and then moan when it goes badly. 

Here are some genuine chats I’ve had with ADULT women.

Example chats

Me: Hello, how are you today?
Female: k
Me: bye 
Female k

Me: Hello, how are you doing today?
Female: .
Me. Your reply is honestly just a full stop?
Female: ……

I remember saying to this person if I ever made a video or wrote an article about this kind of behaviour online, I would mention this conversation. Her reply was “Whatever!”

Me: I don’t get many matches on Tinder. How are you tonight?
Female: Fine u
Me: What are your plans for Saturday night?
Female: Nowt

Most chat will go like this. This is a general conversation someone may have. I don’t speak to people like this any more if they don’t reply with a proper answer to I just close to chat or delete.

Me: Hello? How are you today?
Female: good you
Me: great? What are your plans for the day?
Female: Chilling
Me: What do you do for a living?
Female: Work
Me: What kind of work?
Female: Office
Me: Do you have any hobbies?
Female: Yes 

I’ve heard it before: ‘Ask funny or interesting questions.’ I’ve tried that. While asking better questions can prompt funny replies from those capable of engaging, I’ve found that many women struggle with carrying on a conversation. They might respond to a question but often don’t reciprocate the interest or ask you something funny in return, because they are not interested. If you are not interested, just don’t reply, it’s easier for us all.

Leading a conversation seems to be a challenging task for many women I’ve interacted with. In fact, I would say it’s NEVER BEEN DONE EVER. One reason could be that they’re juggling multiple conversations at once. While it’s understandable, I believe it’s still possible to be polite and engaging, even in multiple chats.

I also do not know what women mean by asking interesting questions. Do they want me to do some kind of thesis or send them a PDF? They are basically saying they don’t like you asking boring questions, and when guys say well what should we ask women, they say” I don’t know, work it out”. I want a man who can do this blah blah 

I’ve sometimes received rude replies like ‘boring message’ or being called dull. When I challenge them to start an interesting conversation themselves, there’s often silence. It seems initiating a conversation is equally challenging for them, they are happy to be rude to you, even though it is something they don’t have the balls to do, or can’t do either.

Why don’t females ever message first on dating apps or chat sites?

The interesting thing was I was listening to a woman complain about Facebook dating and how all the men’s opening conversations were boring. Here is my tick-tock comment on her immature rant.

Her reply is just ludicrous, as all men have to message first anyway, so that makes us all masculine then? Probably not. It’s hypocritical to criticise someone for something you don’t have the creativity to do yourself, then one of her fans replies to agree with her stupid statement.

There are many reasons why women don’t message first.

They are lazy. Many people nowadays seem to lack the motivation to put effort into initiating conversations. This lack of effort often comes across as laziness. In today’s digital age, it’s easy for someone, particularly women, to attract attention through eye-catching pictures or suggestive usernames. 

This approach garners numerous messages from men, which contributes to why they feel less inclined to initiate conversations themselves. This lazy behavior is practised. It’s like kicking a ball against a wall. The more you practice. the better you get. Since they don’t practice conversation skills or make an effort and don’t get better, they get worse. It’s selfish and childish.

They are entitled: Many women think men should message them first for the simple reason is they are a woman and that makes them special that men should worship them and fight to be able to speak to them.

They don’t want to: Why should we, men should do the chasing? There are always more men than women on these types of sites. Anyway, we are doing you a favour by even replying to you (Someone actually said this to me once).

Lack Creativity: You will occasionally get rude remarks from a female about your opening line. It is pretty easy to do this using your anonymity from behind your keyboard, to do this, but they would never approach anyone, and even if they did, they would not have a clue how to do it either. 

A lot of the time, if a woman messages me first, I just get the word Hi!

Most lack basic communication skills, and don’t have the patience or even the language to be able to do this creatively. I am unsure if it is a confidence issue, or an intelligence thing.

Online Chat Etiquette, it’s not that hard

Don’t get me wrong. Men can definitely do this better, but at least we try. I often wonder what women want to be asked in a first conversation, but the answer would be different for everyone. These are often the basic building blocks of communication. What do you do? Where are you from? But some women even take exception to these. As a guy, you cannot win a lot of the time.

You speak, then I speak.

Think of conversation as a tennis match: I hit the ball at you, and you hit it back. If this concept seems off to you, then you lack the common sense to follow online social cues, which are the building blocks of language online, since we cannot see someone. There is no body language like in real life, everything is text or video, it can be hard to get the right tone of a conversation, there can often be misunderstandings, but it feels like you only have to say one word out of context, or one spelling mistake and it gets you blocked or ignored

By the way, if you have some example chats please send them to me. They are hilarious. 

What should men do when faced with this?

If you meet someone like this, stop the conversation and move on straight away. Do not put your time and effort into someone who does not reciprocate, because if you did meet this person in real life, do you think they would be any different? I doubt if they do this when they are online in a first chat, what kind of person they are in real life.

I know this is very hard, especially if it is someone you really find attractive, and you want to try to let them get to know you, or you get to know them in the hope a bond might form, but you cannot force yourself onto someone who is just not that into you, if she liked you she would make the effort.

But, it’s important you understand that good communication is in every medium, on text, on the phone, on chat sites, and essentially, if you keep conversing with people who do this, you are encouraging bad behaviour.

I am also not saying be rude to these people. Back by the way, just end the conversation politely. Anyhow, I will leave you to it. I am not wanting men to be the bad guys, I want us all to do better.

All I want men to learn is by giving these women the attention they think they deserve, you are not rewarding them for their zero effort, and some men will just keep talking to them anyway, which is classic simp behaviour.

Men cannot compete with girls for attention online.

Imagine the scenario if you had an argument with your girlfriend, and you put on your Instagram at night and you see she has posted a hot selfie in her new bikini. I am sure you would be furious, and she would get 100s likes and 100s of messages from random men all over the world.

But I want you to understand no male can compete with this, even a really hot guy. If he posts a good picture, he’s not going to get as much attention as that, and women know that, so you cannot compete with this. I want you to understand you shouldn’t try to compete with this kind of behaviour. It’s childish and attention-seeking, do you include yourself in this world of women posting pictures and simple men giving them the fire icon?

You cannot compete with this kind of behaviour so you shouldn’t even try you should remove yourself and do better.

The Divide: Not All Women Exhibit The Same Online Conversational Skills

Okay, there is a disclosure not all women are like this I make a joke about this because it’s how I feel sometimes.

It’s crucial to acknowledge that, akin to traditional face-to-face conversations, women’s online conversational abilities can greatly differ due to various factors. Personal preferences, communication styles, and individual personality traits all influence how women express themselves digitally. Some may excel at translating their thoughts and emotions into written words, while others might find it more challenging, leading to variations in their engagement levels and the depth of their interactions.

For example, one woman might prefer long, detailed messages intricately expressing her thoughts and feelings, while another might gravitate towards shorter, concise interactions. This variance doesn’t always indicate a lack of interest or disengagement but reflects the diversity in communication styles. It’s crucial for both parties involved in an online conversation to understand and respect these differences, thereby fostering meaningful digital exchanges.

So why do these differences exist? There are numerous underlying reasons. For instance, introverted individuals might find it easier to convey their thoughts through written communication compared to vocal expression, while extroverted personalities might thrive in both settings. These individual disparities significantly influence how women engage in online conversations and dictate the extent to which they feel comfortable and expressive in digital exchanges.

Understanding and respecting these differences is crucial in fostering meaningful conversations and connections in the digital realm.

These variations manifest in numerous ways: from the choice of vocabulary used by different women to their response times, level of detail provided, and overall enthusiasm in the conversation. By recognising and acknowledging these disparities, individuals engaging in online conversations can adapt their approach accordingly, catering to the diverse needs and preferences of each participant.

In essence, it’s essential for individuals to bear in mind that not all women exhibit uniform online conversational skills. While some might effortlessly manoeuvre through digital interactions with eloquence and effortlessness, others may require a more patient and understanding approach. By appreciating and respecting these distinctions, we open the door to fostering deeper connections and more rewarding digital exchanges with women from all walks of life.

Understanding the variability of women’s online conversation skills sets the stage for delving into the factors affecting these interactions.

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