1:) It isn’t because you are ugly!
Why aren’t you getting matches on Tinder? It’s not because you’re hideous, promise. Tinder is visual, and if your pics aren’t grabbing attention faster than a cat video, you’re toast. Sure, your bio matters, but if no one gets past your first pic, you could be the next Shakespeare, and it wouldn’t matter.
Firstly, I can almost guarantee you are male to end up reading this.
Let’s cut to the chase. You’re probably a guy (because we all know women don’t have this problem), and you’ve uploaded a few pics of funny faces? Check. Mirror selfie? Double-check. Group photo where you think you look cool but really no one knows which one is you? Nailed it. And yet, here you are, no matches. One day? Zero. One week? Still zero. Three months later? Nada. You start wondering, “Is it me?”
So yeah, your profile matters if It was blank you would not get any likes ever, but it’s not everything. Attractiveness is subjective, and if you’re male and attractive but still getting no matches, you’re not alone.
Here’s the thing: it’s not you. It’s the numbers game. I ran an adult dating site for ten years before Tinder took over the scene, so trust me, I know the game. Tinder is a shallow pond where everyone’s judging you in milliseconds. If your first pic doesn’t hit like a winning lottery ticket, well, you’re already out of the game.
Let’s face it: the odds are stacked against you. Back when I ran a dating site, for every 10,000 guys, there were only about 300 women. Even if I round it up generously to 1,000 women, that’s still 10 guys for every 1 woman. It’s basically the Hunger Games of dating, and unless you’re in the top 20% of men, your odds are slim. Even if you’re Brad Pitt-level handsome, you compete with nine other guys. So, yeah, it’s like playing Tinder on “extreme difficulty.”
Why do registered numbers matter?
On dating platforms where the ratio of men to women is uneven, women often receive a large number of matches. This can make it easier for them to be more selective in their choices, even if they’re not actively seeking a high number of matches. As a result, women may become more discerning, giving out fewer likes, but still confident that they will receive plenty of interest. This dynamic can influence the overall experience of dating apps, where numbers play a significant role in shaping interactions.
However, there’s an underlying factor many women might not openly discuss. Each woman typically has a set of criteria they seek in a potential partner. It’s not just the existence of this list that poses a challenge for many men, but the extensive and detailed nature of these criteria.
Let me be clear if the users were 70%female and 30% women it would be the women moaning about this.
You simply don’t fulfil the list of criteria.
Every woman has a secret they don’t want to share with men because it is awkward, you see, every woman has a list, a long list of all the things they want in a man.
The problem isn’t the list, it’s the size of the list and it’s very detailed.
Demonstrating the Chances:
Imagine each trait on the list is assigned a probability based on how common it is for men to possess that trait:
- Tall (30%): Only 30% of men might meet this height requirement.
- Handsome (25%): Approximately 25% of men might be considered handsome according to societal standards.
- Strong (40%): About 40% of men may fit the description of being physically strong.
- Educated (50%): Perhaps 50% of men have the level of education a woman might desire.
- Ambitious (35%): Around 35% of men could be seen as ambitious in their careers.
- Have a good job (40%): Maybe 40% of men have a job that fits the woman’s expectations.
- Have a nice house (20%): Only 20% of men may own a home that matches the desired standard.
- Own a car (70%): Roughly 70% of men might own a car.
- Has to be social (50%): Around 50% of men might be sociable.
- Fit into the family (50%): About 50% of men might get along well with their family.
- Good kisser (30%): Maybe 30% of men are perceived as good kissers.
- Good lovers (30%): Only 30% might be considered good lovers.
- Great father (40%): About 40% of men could be seen as having the potential to be great fathers.
Now multiply them all together:
0.30×0.25×0.40×0.50×0.35×0.40×0.20×0.70×0.50×0.50×0.30×0.30×0.40=0.0000013
This results in a probability of about 0.00013% or 1 in 769,230.
This means that, statistically, only one man in 769,230 would meet all the criteria on this list.
It’s not that women are not interested in men, it’s just the fact you don’t make the list.
What is the 80-20 principle?
It means that 80 per cent of the women are only interested in 20 per cent of the men.
For example, in dating profiles.
While all men would like 50 per cent of the females.
In dating, the 80/20 principle suggests that while most men (about 80%) are interested in a large portion of women (up to 50%), most women (about 80%) are only attracted to the top 20% of men.
For example, if there are 10,000 men and 1,000 women, the majority of those women will only find 20% of the men (2,000) attractive, leaving the remaining 8,000 men competing for limited attention.
This imbalance is why the dating world can feel highly competitive for women and why many men feel left behind, wondering what they’re doing wrong.
Women are starting to outperform men in many areas; more women are becoming Drs, lawyers, etc. This trend carries over into dating culture. Women’s expectations from men have risen. They are no longer dependent on men and only settle for the best. If a male earns less or has a lower education, he may become less appealing to females.
This leaves men confused and frustrated. In the past, people got married young. This trend is less common nowadays, and that guarantee is gone. Modern women seek a soulmate who possesses the emotional maturity to discuss feelings, yet he must also be firm and rugged. This duality is confusing for men.
It also makes the difference in numbers using these sites and apps and sites more of an issue, as you need more women than men on a site for it to be really successful, and that is never the case there are always more men
Scamming and catfishing are an epidemic.
The reason this is an issue is that you can never be 100% sure you’re speaking to the person depicted in the profile pictures. If you were on a real date and someone entirely different showed up, you’d be suspicious. Online scammers frequently target dating sites because they can easily impersonate attractive individuals.
The rise of scams and catfishing is partly because technology struggles to detect them, often relying on user reports. This problem has worsened over the years. For instance, when playing the “fake Facebook game” to see how many consecutive fake or catfish profiles can be identified, my record stands at 77. This alarming number indicates the severity of the issue.
Facebook Dating: A Major Offender
It offers low-quality dating for those who prefer convenience over effort. Initially, online dating sites were novel and effective. Now, they’re saturated with users seeking companionship from the comfort of their homes, leading to a culture of laziness. Many users swipe out of boredom, treating the apps more as entertainment than genuine dating platforms.
If you’re genuinely interested in dating, these apps might not be the best avenue. For instance, you might spend a lot of time crafting a thoughtful message to someone attractive, only to realize they were mindlessly swiping during a mundane bus ride.
If you are serious about dating, the apps cannot guarantee you this, because they have become more of an entertainment tool, than a serious dating tool.
I do think it sad that dating apps have taken over the Dating scene, as even if you keep your profile up to date
Have you deleted your apps yet ??
I haven’t actively used dating apps, as I find them to be a waste of time. However, if you’re serious about online dating, it’s crucial to put in the effort, especially when it comes to your profile. I once compared my Tinder profile with a female friend’s, and her vibrant photos, including one of her riding a horse in the sea, significantly outshined my moody picture. It’s evident that women generally excel at presenting themselves, often having superior photos. If you’re facing a lack of matches, consider the importance of your profile’s first image. After all, few people delve deep into reading profiles; the initial impression is key. If your profile lacks effort, the absence of matches will be a clear indicator.
What about the Tinder algorithm?
Many articles suggest that the dating app algorithm is at fault, especially if you’re liking too many profiles. They say you need to “train” the algorithm. However, I believe such claims are just people guessing how it works. The algorithm is essentially a basic computer program that matches users who mutually like each other you say yes the other person says yes you match it’s not that hard. Over time, attempts to refine this algorithm haven’t necessarily improved user engagement.
Often, it displays profiles of those who’ve already passed on you, which seems counterintuitive. The primary goal is to retain users on the app, even if it means showing fewer potential matches, they don’t care if you get a match or not, the object is to keep you online and swiping as much as possible.
This approach ensures continuous ad exposure and potential premium service purchases (NEVER PAY FOR A DATING APP) While the inner workings of these algorithms are kept under wraps, it’s clear their aim is profit, not necessarily user success. However, there are outliers. If you’re among the top 20% in terms of profile attractiveness or engagement, you’ll likely find success on these platforms.
But there are also exceptions. Not everyone on these dating apps is playing the game. There are some people who are less shallow and don’t have a massive list, who just want to meet funny normal people, so there is always a chance you can meet someone on these apps.
It’s just I am telling you the chances are very slim and not to rely on them.
What does the Tinder algorithm reward?
The only thing the algorithm does reward is engagement, you see the algorithm is a program it cannot see, it does not know how good-looking people are, you can update your profile and add all your interests the algorithm cannot see these, I know on tinder there is an option to add interests which could be used to match, but honestly has it ever worked for you?
The more engagement on your profile the more you will be seen, engagement is sending messages, browsing the profiles, talking to other users and just being online and swiping, this shows you are engaging on the platform, and this is what Tinder rewards.
The algorithm cannot control what the users like, that is just a human-only factor no one can control.
When you pay to use Tinder you are just paying for extra engagement, you are not paying for matches.
So is it women who are shallow that is the problem?
NO
You can’t blame women for playing the dating game and trying to find the best guys. But consider it from a female’s point of view: they’re receiving 100 matches each day. With so many options, how do they choose who to converse with? The challenge for women isn’t just about matching, but filtering out the less desirable matches. While looks are a factor, they aren’t always the main consideration after a match has been made.
So should I just give up on them then?
I was watching an attractive guy online talking about his dating experience he was a pretty good-looking guy who had no problems getting matches, he went on to say some pretty interesting things about dating apps, one being,
They are LAZY DATING
He told this story about how he was very successful on dating apps and met lots of girls, but essentially sometimes they would invite him to their home, and they would answer the door and not even be dressed, they had essentially ordered in a man like you would a takeaway, this is why he said its lazy dating, as people don’t need to make the effort especially If your good looking, while this is fun when you’re having casual flings, it can quickly become boring when you want something more meaningful.
If you think about it, it is true its often superficial I do not enjoy that side of my personality and hate apps taking advantage of this, but it is also passive, you are mindlessly swiping a lot of the time, basically judging someone on their looks, often you will be sat on the loo or not even paying that much attention, some people who use them are not even looking for dates, it’s just something to do, entertainment for a bus journey, then there is the no one ever replies to messages, or people ghosting you, arranging to meet for a date and disappearing, it isn’t really a surprise this kind of things happen, the whole thing makes us all take a lazy approach to dating.
I think this does come down to not having the confidence to meet people in the real world, and this is a massive issue, it is not just you.
If you do get a match, actually having a conversation is the next stumbling block, as often when you do get a match the person never replies to any of your messages anyhow,
Other frequently asked questions about this issue:
Is it because of my Tinder profile?
No, it is not necessarily because of your profile. There are many factors that could be contributing to the situation you are in. It could be because of the way you have been interacting with people, the way you have been presenting yourself, or the way you have been marketing yourself. It could also be because of the industry you are in, the competition you are facing, or the timing of your efforts. It’s mainly down to the fact there are 10 times more men than women using the app, which creates a numbers imbalance.
How can I make my profile stand out from the rest?
Making your profile stand out from the rest can be a challenge, but there are a few things you can do to make it stand out.
First, make sure your profile is visually appealing. Choose a profile picture that is professional and reflects your personality. Use a background image or colour that is eye-catching and unique. Make sure the font you use is easy to read and not too small.
Is it because I’m not swiping right enough?
No, it’s not because you’re not swiping right enough. There are a number of factors that could be contributing to why you’re not having success with online dating. While being on the app gives you more chance of getting matches, swiping right on everyone does not influence people matching with you. If women do not like your profile, you will not get matches. It’s as simple as that.
What are the odds of not getting any matches on the app?
The odds of not getting any matches on Tinder depend on a variety of factors, such as your profile, the number of people in your area, and the type of people you are looking for. Generally, the odds of not getting any matches on Tinder are quite low if you are male.
Or is it because of my location?
Location is obviously a factor, but unless you find a planet of busty babes or a planet of hunks, you’re likely going to struggle to find matches if you’re a guy and get far too many if you’re a female.
Are people’s unrealistic expectations part of the problem?
Without a doubt with the high use of social media and social networking sites, we are exposed to images on the internet all the time via Instagram and this affects how we see others, and who we see ourselves dating.
It’s also unfortunate it’s hard to show your personality and humour on dating apps, it shows you are available to guys and girls, but even this can be a bit of a mirage, as some people are using the apps as a way out of their current relationship.
Are people more shallow?
There is little doubt that people are more shallow than ever, the idea of messaging people just to make friends anymore is quite rare, people want to make friends but only with people they find attractive, this is SHALLOW, we all hate being judged on our looks, yet we did it every day to others, usually under the guise I am looking for a connection.
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